This past Wednesday was a tough one for me – I finally had to let go of something that was important to me or so I thought. I guess the truth of the matter is you can’t turn back time to right some wrongs no matter how badly you want to, but that does not help minimize the deep sadness I’m feeling. The hard thing for me is having to let myself feel those feelings – I’m usually much better at numbing them.
With that said – we all know I will be ok – I am a Leo after all and cats always land on their feet 😉 – and of course we all know the saying “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – right? I won’t die from this disappointment, I will just have to move on from it. Things do happen for a reason, and deep down I do understand what that reason is, I think we always do.
So what am I getting at? I must have a point… Ah – I know what it is….. Don’t let your identity and self-worth get wrapped up in other people, places or things. A day may come when you out grow, break up or are found suddenly removed from a situation and then what? You could be left feeling empty, like a failure, or a throw away – I could go on but what we want is to STOP, take a deep breath, acknowledge the loss and have enough self-love and esteem to know there is something better out there waiting for us.
There is a field filled with dreams – our dreams not someone elses, dreams that we have the power to create and make come true. Our self-worth is what enables us to believe that we are capable of doing our best with our talents, and that we have something to offer. How we perceive ourself, how we talk about ourself , and how we represent ourself eventually becomes our reality. This is where we need to recognize and celebrate the fact that we are a valuable person, equal to EVERYONE else, and that our own talents and thoughts are unique and worthy. Wow – can I get a HALALUYA!
The key is to be your own best friend. Self love is about treating yourself with the same care, tolerance, generosity, and compassion as you would treat a special friend. Good grief how many of us struggle with this – I know I do… We are always hardest on ourself aren’t we? The trick is learning to listen and trust our own feelings and not automatically respond to the feelings of others and stop making our self-worth conditional on other people’s thoughts and feelings.
Another fun thing is being responsible – NOT. This means owning up to the fact that we and we alone are in control of our attitude, our reactions, and sense of worth. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” period end of story sista. Unfortunately responsibility also requires that we stop using blame as a source of coping. It is time to stop and look at ourself and to change our own behavior by focusing our energy on what we need to do to change the situation or the circumstances. Ugh – Why do I feel like this one is all about me???
Maintaining our focus on self-worth is an important part of what makes us feel whole. We need to take time to put ourself first and work on building our self-worth and we need to be gentle and patient with ourself while doing it – no more beating ourself up for not being perfect.
With that said, try to:
- Break the habit of trying to please everyone all of the time. That is impossible and even being a people pleaser will displease some people, particularly those with a high sense of self-worth who find such behavior cringe-worthy.
- Live in the present. The past has its lessons from which you’ve learned but it’s long gone, so leave it behind you.
- Keep a notebook of your achievements. Every time you feel tempted to put yourself down make a cup of coffee, sit down comfortably and take out this book and read through it.
- Compete only with yourself, not with others.
- Express your feelings instead of bottling them up.
Gosh – I feel better already, don’t you. Taking your power back is where it’s at ladies and boy does it feel good – now go get yours back from anyone and anything your feel is holding you down or snuffing out your sparke! Like Helen Reddy says “I am strong, I am invinceable, I am woman” take a listen girls! ….I am woman hear me roar….
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Worth
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