I find that most women don’t plan their day around themselves, but plan themselves around everyone and everything else…. That statement almost seems like an oxymoron – doesn’t it…I wonder why that is? Do your husbands, significant others or children do that? No, I don’t think they do. Does your job, your Doctors or Dentist do that – Nope… Oh and what about Cable or the Electric company? Not a chance in … always your time AND your dime. Recently the Gas Company called to schedule an appointment to change my gas meter and informed me that they have 2 appointments available – between 8am and 1pm or between 1pm and 6pm, Monday – Friday… and I was getting a bit of an attitude because I couldn’t tell them off the top of my head when that would be convenient for me…. geeze..
I know many of us ladies are over-booked, over-stressed and pretty much just over it…. I’m starting to think that nurturing gene must go!! Honestly, what good are we to ourselves or those who need us if we are burnt out? I don’t know about you, but I am NO fun to be around when that happens.
So I’d like to try a little experiment… I want you to clear your schedule for a day, fill in your needs first, and then schedule what you can around that – Your stuff is in ink, so it can’t be moved…. what do you think will happen? I know exactly what will happen – you will figure it out. You will move things that can be moved, and find help for the things that can’t be moved – who says you can’t move some of your appointment to your partner’s schedule or to your children’s schedule so you can have time for yourself? We don’t have to be Super Mom, and we don’t have to do it all…. I mean if you know ahead of time that you have to pick up your daughter at Cheer-leading Monday and Wednesday at 4 pm, you aren’t going to book yourself time then. You’ll chose a time that is normally free – but still, see what putting a different spin on that does….you are choosing to arrange your schedule that way – feels so much lighter doesn’t it?
I’m not why this just popped in my head, but I just realized this is why June Clever was always so happy. She didn’t have to work, or discipline the beaver – her job in the family was very specific and defined – mostly around caring for the house and children… Did you know that the word family can be defined as a group of people living together and functioning as a single household, and that the word function can be defined as an activity or role assigned to somebody or something? This says to me that a family is a group of people living together, all responsible for certain tasks within it. Do you agree? We were not built to do it all – although I’m sure most of us can and do, but it is not without consequence. We all have a breaking point – resentments are built, tempers flair, and relationships breakdown because we don’t ask for help. Think about it – how many of us are angry because we feel we are taken advantage of? How many of us assume our partner knows what we need and get super pissed off because they make us ask them? Why can’t they just do it! Guess what? They are not mind readers, and honestly, most would be happy to help if they knew what you needed…This could explain why irreconcilable differences are the number one reason for divorce – a break down in communication. I find it interesting that the words “can you help me with ….?” could save a marriage….
So again – clear your schedule “pen” yourself in, and let others work around your needs for a change – It feels a little naughty doesn’t it? but it feels really nice too…
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